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Archive for November, 2012

Seven Months

Time is a strange creature. Some moments stretch on for eternity and yet months and years will fly by in seconds. 

Last night, as I looked through my wedding photos to pick out the perfect images to use on our Christmas cards this year, my own face stared back at me, but the memory of the moments just seven months ago were hazy at best. Sure, many people warned me that the wedding day would pass in a blur, and it did. I was certainly thankful for our pastor and the wedding coordinator who led me from point to point throughout the day. 

But this was different. What struck me most was how little time had actually past since the beginning of our marriage. Seven months? Had it only been seven months? Time had passed with the intensity of a couple years. 

Now this time warp had nothing to do with my wonderful husband. Moving into marriage was the natural next step for us. I don’t regret one second of the past several months. 

Thankfully, Bruce didn’t take offense to my observation. He just ever-so-kindly reminded me of the myriad of life-changing events that had occurred within the past few months. In addition to marriage, I quit my job, moved across the country, lived with my parents for three months, and moved again so my husband could begin a new job. All within the span of five months. Any event along would skew my perspective of time. Put all of them together and time became a jumbled mess. 

As things settle down and I become more reflective, I am amazed at how much can occur during a short span of time. But I am also learning to accept each moment for what it is. Will this be a stressful moment? A restful moment? A hopeful moment? And time passes yet some more. 

The next few months promises more changes as my work and ministry in the Asheville area become more defined. Will I allow those moments to pass me in a blur? Or will I see each moment for the opportunity it could be? I pray that God will allow me to see what he sees in every moment to come. 

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New Beginnings

The only thing that is constant in life is change.

2012 has been a year of new beginnings. A new marriage. Living in a new state. And now, a new home. At the end of September, Bruce was hired at a manufacturing company in Arden, North Carolina (right outside of Asheville). As we packed for yet another move, looked for apartments and began sifting through all those boxes, I have been constantly reminded of the uncertainty and fluidity of life. 

As much as I hate change, I looked forward to being out on my own again – to begin a new life with my new husband. But at 40, can an “old dog” be taught “new tricks”? While Bruce eased back into working life again, I struggled with being a housewife. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t the primary bread-winner of the family. Part of me jumped for joy – I needed time to put my house in order. I began experimenting with baking. And honestly, I needed a rest.

But there was another part of me that twisted inside. What was my role now as a wife and possibly a future mother. I had no experience as a housewife. What was expected of me? I suddenly felt the weight of every little thing missed – from not finishing an errand to forgetting where I put a piece of mail.

What was wrong with me? I had done all this before WHILE I worked full time! Why could I not complete simple items now? I had dreams of writing, setting up area workshops, and creating new partnerships in the area, but things were moving slower than I expected. Furniture had to be purchased. Household items had to be found. My energy was tapped out.

I thank God for a husband who is patient and understanding. “Just slow down – it’ll all fall into place in it’s own time.” So I stuff my desire to whine about how suddenly my life seemed to be lost among all the boxes and take a deep breath. This is my time. My time to rest. My time to connect with God. My time to settle my spirit. And yes, eventually, there will be plenty of work to keep me busy, but for now, a little rest won’t hurt.

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