Living in the “In-Between”

There’s something unsettling about in-between moments. We’re no longer where we were but we’re not quite where we’re going. We’re suspended in a vast chasm called the “in-between.” Between here and there, we are called to wait. Sometimes the wait isn’t long or is filled with activity. Other times, the wait is slow, arduous, and seems to last forever.

As Bruce and I settle in my parents’ home, we remember daily that our “settling” is only momentary. When he is called to a job — wherever that may be — we will move again. It’s easy to remember our temporary situation now, when we are at a place when even our belongings have not yet arrived. But what happens if God prolongs the waiting?

Bruce admits he is not the most patient man. In fact, he stretches the little he has as far as he can. And while I’m reminding him to be patient while waiting for a job, I’m struggling with my own longings to get “settled.” Each of us have faced our reality at different moments – Has it really only be a week? or 10 days? Somehow it seems longer.

A few years ago, I heard a sermon about living in the in-between moments of life and it changed my thinking. Life often happens when we are waiting on something else to happen. I remind myself that I want to enjoy the moment wherever or whenever it is. That isn’t always easy in the waiting. But as we continue to live (and wait) in the in-between moments of this journey, I pray that I may keep my eyes open and alert for those special surprises that make the adventure even more exciting.

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God and a U-Haul

When God calls me to follow him completely, does he allow me to take a U-Haul?

The question seems silly. But after weeks of sorting through my belongings and parting with a lot of “stuff” that really doesn’t matter, I still loaded up a moving truck and packed the back of my car until there was no breathing space to move my “stuff” across country…all for the sake of following God.

But I have to wonder…did the disciples drag U-Hauls behind them when they followed God? I cringe as I write this because I knew the answer before asking it. Even as I sit in a hotel room half-way across the country, I ponder…How attached am I to my “stuff”? I won’t be pulling a U-Haul to heaven. Why is it necessary for me to drag one around here?

My “stuff” keeps me attached. As I sorted through items I had not looked at in years, memories visited me like old friends. People who had passed on were with me through this “stuff.” Close friends would go with me in this “stuff.” My “stuff” makes me smile, laugh, remember an old joke, and even cry.

Whether we like it or not, our “stuff” has power over us. As much as I was able to give away, I was amazed at how much I still wanted to hold on to. But at the same time, I wonder…what does God want me to let go of before he can take me to the next step? The memories will always be there – they are a part of me. The mementos are nothing more that “stuff” that represents what is already inside me.

As most of my “stuff” block my vision through my rear view mirror, I realize that life is spent looking less through that rear view mirror and more through the front windshield. Yet, I want to look back. I want to hang on to all the memories, the people, the life that was once mine. But it’s time to move forward. Sometimes the hardest muscle in the body to move is our own eyes.

Looking forward.

 

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